Thingee #1: All members of the SSHB MUST own a SS hoodie. Those who wish to join who do not have a hoodie must put their case to either the President (that's you Di), or the Vice President (that's me).
Thingee # 1a: Under NO circumstances will a person be allowed to join if they have a USA hoodie, or any item of Fubu clothing. And no sideways wearing of caps, please, or visors of any kind.
Thingee #2: All members should see 'Lord of the Rings'. If they have not, they must be courteous to the needs of all hobbits and respect their wishes to have barefeet all day long, and eat apples to their hearts content. Failure to do this will result in refusal to join, or an immediate ejection from the SSHB.
Thingee #3: No member is permitted to like No Doubt and/or Gwen Stefani in any way at all. If Saskia, your Vicey, hears ANY one of you members humming/sining 'Hey baby hey baby hey...', I shall be allowed to punch you...quite hard, in the face...before I paper cut you eyeballs of course. This brigade is anti Gwen!
Thingee #4: No member is allowed to let ANYONE outside the brigade know their secret knock. No Siree Bob!
Thingee #5: All lingo that is used by Dianne Tanner (DJ - Deej for short), and myself, must be used no end by you, the soon to be member of the SSHB. This means that at all times the word 'no' is used, a 'siree Bob' should follow. Other words/phrases that must be overused no end, let me tell you, are: no end, let me tell you, no siree Bob, heavens to Betsy, and so I says to Mavis...(<- A good sentence starter, that one!), deliver a liver, Bob's your uncle, sonimy jiminy, Orlando Bloom, arse, and any others that myself and Deej see fit to overuse no end.
Thingee #6: No members are allowed to like anything of the pop variety. You can sing it, you can joke about it, but liking is strictly forbidden. No Steps, 5ive, or Westlife here. But sing 'murder on the dance floor' if you like. Go on, you know you want to. Its quite catchy..!!
Thingee #7: You will look out for spunky Scottish delivery boys at all times.
Thingee #8: You must love RENTON (from trainspotting) and the way in which he says, so sweetly with his rather swanky Scottish accent : Dianne.
Thingee #9: You MUST be prepared to see Hedwig and Disco Pigs when it comes to a cinema near you'...otherwise you're out!
Thingee #10: Starsailor rock my world forever and ever amen... although that goes without saying.
Thingee # 11: No perverts... and no friends of perverts. We will however allow "fancying" i.e. oh, I do FANCY Mr Bloom... or OH! I DO fancy Mr Christian Bale.... or OH! that Delivery boy, I FANCY him.
but NO PERVERTS.
Thingee # 12: Must be able to yodel in time with Westlife - please note this is the only time WESTLIFE sheall be allowed into the brigade. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES will we allow Westlife fans in. NO SIREE BOB!
Thingg # 13: You WILL love Malcolm In The Middle.
Thingee # 14: All embers must at some stage in their lives purchase a FERRET and name it after at least one character form LOTR. Please note the following names have been taken : Pippin, Merry, Buckleberryferrett.
Thingee #15: Pogo Sticks are the only recognised method of transport.
Thingee #16: Merry and Pippin (pictured) will be recognised as the superior Hobbits in LOTR. Frodo and Samwise - as much as we will love them so - are not acceptable substitutes.
Thingee #17: All Australian Sell-Outs (this means YOU KYLIE AND RUSSELL) WILL be suspended head first into the bog of eternal stench, NO QUESTIANS ASKED.
Thingee #18: Dammit, I've forgotten it
Thingee #19: Members must like cappuccino flavoured chupa chups. And pez dispensers. But not pez. Pez is off. Oh, but the novelty of eating candy from daffy ducks neck is all too much...
Pez dispensers are good.
Thingee # 20: No Bananana's will be put on bread AT ANY TIME Banananas are purely for consuption on their OWN. Not as part of a sandwich or on toast for breakfast.
This is why God gave us.... Vegemite.
Thingee # 18 : (that I forgot)
NO WHITE PANTS
this cannot be stressed enough.
Thingee #19: All must love the name HAMISH...with its little bubba brother, fluffy/evil orange kittyness and Starsailor roadie connotations... Hooray
Thingee #20: there will BE no thingee # 20
THingee # 21: NO HIPPIES or Hippy related Items of any variety.
This includes Hessian, Hashpipes, H... H... HAIRY ARMPITS... and just Hippies in general. Flowing Garemnts are also not allowed, as it would suggest Hippyness.
We do however allow the following Hippy beliefs:
Love
Peace
Freedom.
But that is all.
.... that is all.
EXCEPTION TO THINGEE # 21!!!: Her Royal Hippyness Miss HippyChick is of course NOT included in the above. We accept her and her hippyness with OPEN arms. As long as she keeps clean, and does not wear hessian. We love her. and NEIL from the Young ones. Vegetable Rights and peace!!!!!
Thingee #22: ALL MUST ADORE LUKA BLOOM
Thingee # 23: This brigade is anti-shorts. Wearing of shorts may result in being barred from the brigade.
Thingee # 24: THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO.
Thingee # 25: This Brigade fuly embraces the concept of sporatic Randomness and to an extent encourages it. Go ahead - Randomly post at the treehouse.
Thingee # 26: There must be excessive use-age of the word 'Skidaddle'..i mean...excessive..people must use that word NO END!
Thingee # 27: Pinapple Lumps. Oh La La
Thingee # 28: All must appreciate those on the Appreciation list.
Thingee 28a: All must be able to quote at least ONE line from the film Ever After. Do you know... I don't know...!!!!
